Sunday, August 14, 2011

Turkey Trot Throw Down

It has gotten U.G.L.Y here in the Land of Chand.


You might remember what happened last year at the 4 mile Turkey Trot.


For years, I've held the title of FASTEST MOST AWESOMEST RUNNER IN THE LAND OF CHAND.


And, I haven't hidden this fact. 


When I WIN, I like to remind family members that YES, INDEED....I ONCE again won the 4 mile family friendly Turkey Trot. 


So, I've had to resort to....evil methods...to ensure my win. SO, I've hidden timing chips, running shoes, warm gear and bottles of water. 


A little HTFU never hurt anyone.


especially not a 10 year old, right.


Imagine my surprise, when I finished the race last year....all smug like....only to look around and see GOOGS already sitting under a tree, drinking water.


WTF?


Needless to say. I was NOT pleased when the official results came down that GOOGS beat me by :24 seconds. 


:24


Immediately after my race I started plotting for the future. Because, let's be honest, this was NOT going to happen again. 


And don't feel all sad for Googs either, he's 17....he can handle his mom being a sore loser.


*****


My plan came down to this. Googs likes to weight lift. Serious, big time, weight.


Because I didn't do the Boulder race, all of a sudden my schedule cleared out to train for SPEED, man, SPEED.


Hmmm, jordan keeps getting bigger....hee hee....I get faster....I started salivating with the thought of regaining my title.


THEN that little bastard did the unthinkable.....he started running. Not just any running.


THE KID IS RUNNING 400M SPRINTS.


HOW CAN I COMPETE WITH 400M SPRINTS?


I needed help.


I called for reinforcements.


Behind an abandoned building in Denver, we meet to discuss the plan.


Did you bring the stuff?


I nod and hand him the bag of donuts.


He takes the bag. Shoves a donut in his mouth and says, The ways I sees it. Your only chance to beat this punk is (he looks around) to use my secret weapon.


I move in closer, What's that?


First, you gotta do these VO2max workouts. I ain't gonna lie. They're gonna hurt.


I start scribbling down the workout. Ok, ok.


He wipes his mouth and says: Next, we need to come up with a plan for you to visualize, visualize, visualize. You got plenty of time to beat this kid, but you gotta BELIEVE you're gonna beat him.


I write it down. Anxiously awaiting the next training trips from the Great One.


What? he asks. That's it. that's all I got tonight. Next time, bring me sprinkled donuts. I like the sprinkles. They remind me of when I was kid.


And he disappears into the night.


*****
Dear blogger friends. 


Intervals, visualization & donuts.


I can almost taste the victory!


Mama's coming boy. And she has a chip the size of Colorado on her Shoulder.

4 comments:

Tiffany @ Tiffany's Spartanette Training said...

HAHAHAHA! I love it!

Bill said...

LOL. Nothing worse than a mom scorned. Isn't that how it goes?

BTW, you'll have fun!

For the last four months, I've done nothing but short runs and working on speed (mile repeats, descending ladders, half repeats, quarter repeats, etc.). My longest run, which turned out to be fluke based on my interval session, was just over seven miles.

Ask me if I miss a 15-miler. Go ahead.

Because, like you, it's all about handing a young 'un his ass at the line. :D

Wes said...

for a donut, I'da told ya the same thing ;-)

Carolina John said...

I like it. Where's my doughnuts?