For years, I've had a goal. It was a pace goal. Just one time, I wanted to hit this goal. I knew the goal was crazy given what my paces were. I knew my goal wasn't realistic.
But, I still wanted it. I wanted it so badly I could taste it. I wanted it so badly that it would bring tears to my eyes when I thought about it. I worked for it. I'd make progress. But I was nowhere close to the goal. I'd go back to the drawing board. I'd talk to Liz. When we talked about Nationals, we talked about what my goals were. We talked about what I have to do to reach my goals. She said, "Ok. This is what we have to do to make that happen."
I've done everything possible to reach this goal.
For the past couple of weeks, I've been doing mile repeats and half mile repeats on the track.
I noticed a trend. When I look at my garmin, I struggle. I get stressed out. Paces feel harder than they actually are. I told Liz about it and pointed out intervals where I looked at my garmin and where I didn't.
The difference was amazing. It was a difference of :30 per mile. I was running :30 PER MILE slower when I watch my garmin or set alerts.
When I just ran, I ran faster at an effort that felt much lower.
Liz and I decided that today was the day I was going to bring my Garmin but not look at it for my 800m intervals.
I blew away my previous times. BLEW THEM AWAY.
She has been telling me for years to "just run". It hasn't been easy getting to that point. It takes confidence. Maybe I've had the physical ability to do it for awhile; but without the confidence, it wasn't going to happen. It takes a tremendous amount of trust....trust in myself. It was a trust that I've never had before.
You might be wondering about that big elusive goal. No, I didn't hit today, but I held it for 200m. I'm closer than I've ever been to a goal that at one time seemed like it was almost unacheivable.
I always believed I was faster than what my times showed. I always believed I was a better athlete than what my times showed. Now, I'm growing into the athlete I always believed I could be.