Monday, July 21, 2014

It's the last time. It's the first time.

I grew up with typewriters. I still couldn't figure out what that picture was.

We are exactly one month out from JMan leaving for college.

JMan is our youngest.

This week, I've found myself thinking about all the last times. I went shopping yesterday and realized that would be the last time that I buy his load of food....boxes of frozen pizzas, snack foods....hey, don't judge, 18 year olds eat A LOT. There's no way I'm going to cook for him because I'd be cooking all.day.long.

So, I bought snack foods.

Then I went to the doctor to pick up his immunization form for the last time.

I know that this month is going to be filled with lasts.

It's overwhelming.

There will also be firsts.

I started thinking of all the different firsts.

Some of them, I can't even imagine what they are going to be like.

The day he moves out (8/21), that night will be the first night me and Mr. Tea will be alone. Because even when your teen hides out in their room, sleeping for 12-14 hours, they are still there. They still have a significant presence.

On 8/21, that presence will be gone. When Googs left for college a couple of years ago, it was a HUGE empty VOID for awhile. He was 25% of the family.

JMan is now 33%.

What about waking up the next morning? The first morning where I won't see him for breakfast.

Or the first time a new Pixar movie is on tv? No one will be there to hang out with me to watch it.

But then, there are the firsts like being able to stay out late or get up early or go do things without having to worry about "family time" or what to make for dinner or if we even eat dinner at all.

It's all the little things. No more dirty laundry laying around. The bathroom that was shared by two boys growing up will be empty.



And clean.



....for long periods of time.



When I open the fridge, there won't be cans of soda or frozen waffles or hot dogs.

It'll be my first time since 1994, that I'm not scheduling my appointments around their appointments or making sure they get up for appointments. I'm not running up to the school because someone forgot a text book on the counter.

In fact, there won't even be school supply shopping.

That last, was last year.

So, I'm trying to imagine life in the next chapter, but it's hard. It's hard to remember what life was like 21 years ago.

I'll just take it one day at a time....and watch Frozen every time it comes on tv, and join him for lunch when he has another frozen pizza...and never turn him down when he asks me to go to breakfast with him, and graciously accept the can of coke that he hands me after my long workouts.


The next chapter can wait 30 days to be started.










2 comments:

tom pitts said...

even i got melancholy reading your post - and i've never met the kid. Great one.

Carolina John said...

My niece is going off to college Aug 16 and her mother is not handling it well at all. It's only a community college, and she's not even paying for it, but she's still making it as difficult as possible for the kid to get away. I can't imagine the range of emotions involved. Good luck to the J-Man!