Monday, January 12, 2009

Dealing with Anger

Last night, I stayed up late and cleaned.

Today I was doing ok until a well meaning comment was taken out of context. I mean, most people don't know what to say, and they don't know the current mood. They don't know what stage a person in mourning is in.

Let me clear it all up for you.

Today, I'm angry.

I was angry when I spilled my cup of coffee.

I was angry that it snowed last night.

I was angry that I'm HERE. I'm angry that someone said, "It's difficult even when it's expected."

EXPECTED?

As in, we are all born and we will all DIE. So, THAT's supposed to make me feel better?

As though we'd all been sitting around just waiting for this?

sigh


I'm going to go outside and shovel snow. shovel and shovel and shovel.

But even I realize that sometimes the snow just isn't deep enough.

5 comments:

b said...

I'm sorry to hear this Tea :-( I hear that snow & wind is going to hit our region this evening...I definitely agree enough is enough all ready!

b

LBTEPA said...

People are so insensitive! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

triguyjt said...

good luck getting over this...

and btw...your grandpa sounded like an awesome guy...
never stopped reaching for more knowledgte and more life...

pretty cool. sorry to hear about it...

EXTREME Ultimate Fucking Crackhead (EUFC) said...

I am sorry for the loss of your grandfather.

It's OK to be angry at the world, yourself, objects, anything.

Think about that supposedly insensitive comment in a different way: Even when we know an experience (losing someone) is going to be difficult, that knowing doesn't necessarily make the experience any easier when it actually happens.

Sometimes I wish that knowing how difficult something will be would make it easier, but life doesn't work that way. It seems the difficulty is necessary in order to get us to focus on our feelings.

Every life experience, good or bad, I think, just enables you to get through the bad times a little faster with more of yourself intact. Just like putting in the time training doesn't make the racing any easier--you just get faster.

I hope you find peace soon.

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